|Fangio's W196 from 1954 courtesy Bonham's Auctions|
In "never meet your heroes" news, former F1 driver Stirling Moss stirred the pot of political incorrectness when in response to an interviewer asking who he would like to play him in a movie about his life Moss belched, "I hope the actor would be masculine, not a poofter or anything like that." We can only imagine he then batted his eyelashes and his pulse quickened as he gushed in a Freudian-slippish way, "Perhaps the guy from Skyfall" in a reference to Daniel Craig.
Poofter is British slang for a homosexual and is considered a slur today on par with racial epithets.
Moss seems to be confusing masculinity with sexuality, and while that was certainly common in his youth and the heyday of the sport, it is woefully out of touch with modern sensibilities, especially amongst the well-heeled and well-traveled set that support the sport of Formula 1 today. "Just ignore grandpa, he's tired and hungry," is what we imagine his handlers spoke to the interviewer after the foot-in-mouth episode.
We here at MotoArigato are curious exactly how Moss plans to determine the sexuality of the actors auditioning for the role. To us it all sounds like another classic example of his legendary charm, perhaps in his old age Moss is feeling experimental in the bedroom, bored of bedding prehistoric wenches and falling down elevator shafts, maybe he needs something new to give him a taste of that long lost spark of excitement. What better way to casually experiment with your own sexuality than to have a legitimate cause to approach a handsome young actor and coyly inquire, "Are you gay? No, well can you prove it to me back in the trailer?" That didn't happen of course, but we think he would be game, you know, if nobody finds out. We think his heart clearly aches to be Daniel Craig's next Bond Girl.
|Sir Stirling Moss with a "friend."|
Here's to hoping Stirling Moss gets his wish and can convince someone super masculine and totally not gay like John Travolta, Tom Cruise or Kevin Spacey to play him in a movie.
He polished the second interview off by saying, "I’m sorry I’ve caused offense, but I’m disappointed anyone could be so narrow-minded as to take offense. It was not meant to cause any" and proved to us that his intellect is nowhere as quick as his lap times considering he chose the classic "it's your fault if you're offended" routine that bigots adore because it frees them of responsibility all while maintaining the target of the hate as the instigator/wrong-doer. Classic asshole move from an apparent classic asshole. At 83-years old, it may be more prudent for someone of Moss' historical stature to consider his own legacy, one that he unfortunately soiled heavily at the dusk of his spectacular life. Perhaps he will make a realization and offer a true and heartfelt apology, or even just a private a change of thinking without the apology would be noble, because a lifetime of grand accomplishments can easily be undone by simply opening your goddam mouth. Stirling Moss, your still have quick reflexes but apparently not a quick mind, so please consider your historical legacy, friends, family and fans, and think before you speak next time.
In the meantime you can stay on top of Stirling Moss' sexuality by visiting his dedicated Gay-o-meter. Last time we checked he was coming in at a steady 80% gay, or "highly gay" according to the meter. Perhaps the driver doth protest too much? We tried to reach Moss for comment but his spokesman said he was presently unavailable as he was camped outside the O2 Arena waiting for One Direction tickets to go on sale, "Harry's his favorite you know!"
Update: The Daily Mail (UK) has added a forum specifically dedicated to the topic hilariously titled "Poofter Row" and when we checked it last there were already 140 pages of replies. It seems that Stirling is beginning to tarnish a bit after all.
(This article is clearly parody, we do not think Sir Stirling Moss is gay, but his words are wrong and inappropriate and we believe humor is a better way to approach social issues and continue the conversation about social equality.)